Paladins
Paladins
Another old document… Remember it was a far more innocent time.

* Your ring of free action gets stuck on your finger.
* Your Bucknard’s Everfull Purse starts only producing chocolate coins.
* The case holding your chime of opening jams shut.
* Your ring of swimming rusts.
* Your necklace of adaptation doesn’t fit.
* Your wings of flying start molting.
* You forget where you left your gem of insight.
* Your ring of blinking has the command word of “Cliff”.
* Your robe of eyes needs glasses.
* You can’t find your robe of elvenkind.
* Your ring of invisibility just vanishes one day.
* Your gloves of missile snaring steal all your +3 arrows.
* You cut yourself on your periapt of health.
* Your plate mail of etherealness goes on a trip without you.
* your sheet of smallness shrinks in the wash.
* your manual of stealthy pilfering is stolen.
* Your potion of gaseous form evaporates.
* You notice your ring of sustenance is losing weight.
* Your rod of passage gets caught in the door all the time.
* Your Holy Avenger converts.
* Your staff of the woodlands catches the blight.
* You trip over your manual of quickness of action.
* Your wand of negation stops working.
* Your amulet of proof against detection and location is nowhere to be found.
* Your gem of seeing turns opaque.
* Your staff of withering wilts.
* Your cloak of displacement only projects your image straight UP.
* You find your Nolzur’s Marvelous Pigments are water-colours.
* Your rope of entanglement gets a snarl.
* Your pipes of the sewers back up.
* You lose your luck blade in a poker game.
* That tavern hobo you’ve been insulting turns out to be a Heirophant Druid (remember Heirophant Druids?)
* Your assassin tiptoes around the corner… Right into the middle of a Paladin’s association meeting.
* You realise that those aren’t skeletons racing at you, they’re Githyanki.
* You realise that those aren’t Githyanki racing at you, they’re liches.
* Your character says “Orcus” for kicks, and the DM rolls a 04%.
* The DM rolls positive for a wandering monster, and turns to the “D” section in his Monster Manual (Devils, Demons, Demodands, Daemons, Dinosaurs…)
* You realise that the halflings you offered to help weren’t fighting “th-the rats,” but “the Tarrasque.”
* Your new DM reassures you that HIS copy of Deities and Demigods has teh Cthulhu Mythos in it.
* You remember too late why that albino with the black sword sounds familiar.

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